What’s my Maine?

In my Maine, I learned to carry both a hockey stick and a golf club as if they were my way of expressing myself, each one of them taught me a different way of belonging. I wasn’t born here. I’ve only been living here in Maine for around three years, following my brother’s steps into boarding school. At first I thought I was only following someone else’s story without actually writing my own. I’ve always heard you’re the writer in your own story and every year, new adventures, new steps are different chapters. I’ve heard people talk about who was actually ‘’from away’’ and I wondered if that label was going to stick with me my whole time here at Kents Hill, Maine. 

At first I didn’t really know what it meant, I carried the words in my brain without really thinking about it. During my first winter here in Maine, every time I stepped into my crease, I felt the pressure of proving I actually belonged here. As a goalie there’s no room for mistakes, every error is magnified more than any player, every save is the difference between a victory and a loss. I felt the weight of my coach’s expectation during practice and game– Coach Marrotolo once told me ‘’You are a mailman you have to carry the mail for me every single day, no exception’’ that was pushing me even harder everyday to stay on point, even when my body was giving up, I wasn’t. My parents watched every game from the corner of the rink, or on live TV, stressing for their lives, hoping I would be a ‘’brick wall’’ and robbed games like my teammates would say. That kind of pressure of being alone on the ice, with the game on the line is what kept me going, but for some it can break them– I learned at a young age how to handle it, by being in a family of four kids it shaped me to be stronger and push through it. 

The cold air of the rink blowing on my face, the ring of the puck after hitting the puck, the silence before a faceoff– Maine hockey taught me resilience, being goalie isn’t only about protecting the net but playing for the one next to you, creating bonds, memories. Maine hockey gave me some challenges but also a place to love and to belong.

Another huge part of Maine for me is golf. Golf taught me something different, a new vision. The fairways are wide-open, the quietness on early range sessions morning after the morning dew, everything felt like a dream as if the world adjourned for an instant. On the course, mistakes didn’t matter, it wasn’t really about perfection but more what you chose to do with the next shot. The ‘’second shot’’ became a metaphor for living here. Maine being up north doesn’t give easy conditions on the course: wind, cold, fog, rain, even thunder during matches once. But through all that I learned how to be patient, how to rethink before making a choice. I now appreciate all the challenges that it has given me.

But Maine isn’t made for everyone. The long winters can feel endless, with all the snow piling up outside your dorm windows and the freezing temperatures giving you frostbites the second you step a foot outside.The darkness comes fast in the afternoons, the practices runs late, games are played in the negatives celsius, walking back after though losses feels even harder with the conditions. Maine has its ways of making life harder every single day, but that’s not what makes it so different and meaningful. It forced me for the past 3 years even with the discomfort to keep working hard, showing up, staying on top and disciplined. That feeling of accomplishment made this place feel like it was mine.

So yes I am ‘’from away’’. But I belong here, in my Maine. I’ve created my own happy place, through all the games I’ve played, the people I met, the lessons I’ve learned. Maine might not be where I started, but it’s where I grew as a person. I can confidently say that it was the best chapter in my life so far, and that’s why it’s ‘’my Maine’’ and why I belong here.